Grandpa Wears Panties and Stockings.

I knew that these kind of people existed in the world, but it still never failed to surprise me when I met them.

Picture a man in his mid to late 60s about 180cm with a large round belly, round face and large bulbous nose. He had short brown hair, fuzzy gray moustache and cold gray eyes. He was an average looking elderly gentleman who like to wear jeans and polo shirts. If you had seen him out on the street you wouldn't likely take any notice.

The first time he came into my booth for a show, I thought it was going to be a pretty typical show and that he was likely to only pay minimum. Much to my surprise and delight he had placed several nice bills into my bill acceptor and even knew how to slide me a tip. So I happily ask him if he had anything special in mind and he said to me simply:
"Please remember what I tell you. I don't want to have to tell you the directions again. When I come, I will come back to you so that I don't have to repeat myself don't worry it is simple. Whenever I come in I want you to turn around. Do not look or peek at me until I say hello. Once I say hello, I don't want you to say anything to me. Do not talk, dance or undress yourself; just turn around and watch me. Is that okay with you?"

"Sure is. Whatever you like as long as you pay appropriately." I answered slightly intrigued.

I mean seriously, what was with this bossy little goat? So I turned around and waited for the hello. He inserted more bills into the machine to cover for the lost time. Within a minute I hear the "hello" so I turn quietly towards the glass.

For a moment I was a little stunned really. I hadn't quite expected what I saw, but yet it wasn't all that shocking to me rather a little distasteful. He had removed his clothing to reveal that he was wearing a bra, panties, garter belt, stockings, red 80s style pumps and nothing else. He still had the phone in his hand but was not paying any attention to me. It seemed as though he had "gone off" and was in a fantasy or nightmare whatever. He turned to the glass and began to apply some really red lipstick to his lips. He acted as if he were in a bathroom and peering in the mirror. His face was strained with concentration but for what, I wasn't sure. He was applying it and applying it until it was creating a circle around his mouth like a clown. I watched the lipstick matting up in his moustache and had to stifle a giggle.

After he was satisfied with his makeup, he turned quite indignantly to face the left side of the booth. I could only view his profile now and his posture was quite aggressive now. He put his right hand on his hip and his left still held the phone. Suddenly without warning he began to threaten the air. Apparently his mother was now in the booth with us and he was not happy with her at all.

He ranted and raved at his imaginary mother. He threatened and apologised over and over. He got into some pretty personal discussions with her as I watched quietly from behind the glass. This man had some serious issues to say the least. At the same time, it was pretty easy money and maybe, just maybe I felt a little bit bad for him. Although to be fair, it had to be cheaper and less invasive than going to a shrink.

Once he had finished and relieved himself of what he needed to get out you could clearly see that the man felt better. As he pulled up his pants and returned to "reality" you could see he was calmer, his posture straighter he actually smiled and thanked me. He slid an extra tip in for me before wishing me a good day and exiting. I watched as he made a beeline for the bathroom to wash off the lipstick before going outside.

This man would return sporadically but always came to my booth as he said. Each time it was the same thing, only the personal stories would be different. All just as messed up as the one before. Poor thing really. At least I didn't have to do anything but listen.