The Undatable Man

My Mum would tell me not to discount a man on his appearance. She believes that the more 'unattractive men' have better attitudes than the really attractive men. I am sorry, but on this one, Mum you are wrong.

I had gone on a semi blind date with a man to a cafe in Amsterdam. I say semi, because he had shown me a photo. When I arrived I noticed that the photo was far from an accurate representation of reality. (Big surprise right?)

I knew he wasn't my type at all from talking with him previous to our meeting but thought that it might be fun to meet someone new anyway. I had some free time and why not, right?

He had described himself of average height, average build and longish hair. When someone says 'average' I can never get a clear image of what they mean. Average for what culture? What he had really meant was 'I don't want to admit outright I am short and skinny with a beer belly overlapping my belt.' In other words, average for a troll. Nice!

He was but centimetres taller than me. (I am very short) He was very thin except for the gut. A very small framed man. The sort of man that had probably been teased horribly in school days about his size. He had probably received his share of beatings from the bullies.
His longish hair? Oh I am getting to that!
(Normally I would not pick on someone so terribly for things that they can not help, however this one is a right asshole and assholes are fair play. Remember this if you would.)

Oh well, his hair.... Yes right then. When he mentioned longish hair, did he mean that ape like fur covering most of his body or the sad bit left on his head?
Probably the latter but only he knows for sure.

He was balding terribly and instead of going with it and just shaving the rest off, he decided it was a better idea to grow it out. What was left was a straw like spattering of curls at the back of his skull and around to the sides. The whole top of his head gleamed in the sunlight like a well polished knob.
He hadn't bothered to try a comb over either, just left it as it fell. It was an obvious attempt to somehow cling to the idea that he still had good hair. If any of it can grow long, then you really aren't that bad off right? RIGHT?
The worst part about it, aside from it's appearance was the smell. Maybe he hadn't washed it in days and certainly didn't seem to be bothered to try a comb. It stunk, if things weren't bad enough. I could smell the dirty hair from where I sat across from him!

Whilst I am on the hygiene issue, I would be remiss in my duties as an honest observer if I failed to mention the rest of his appearance.

There was the whole matter of him not bothering to shave. It did not appear that he was attempting to grow out his facial hair, rather it just looked like he couldn't be bothered to drag the razor around a bit. It looked like 2 days growth sitting on his face and served as a further testament to his lack of standards. On a first meeting, I would like to think that a person would put at least some effort into their appearance. Especially as HE had hoped that this was a date. After seeing this sad sack, I had already completed counting him out with a big red 'X'.

I considered just taking off but then I had nothing better to do and still held a small bit of hope that something interesting would come out of his mouth to maybe entertain me. Against my better judgment I stayed around. (Maybe I am a masochist, at least a little.)

Thinking back to my mother's theory that unattractive men have better attitudes, I have come to find out that this is simply not true. Nothing could be further from the truth. This was not the only time I entertained the idea of a date with an unattractive man. I realise that this theory has so many problems.

It seems that many highly unattractive men seem to feel bitter or even hateful towards anyone slightly attractive. It seems that ones I have met tend to have more issues than I can reasonably recount in a blog. However, the curious qualities I have noticed is a sense of entitlement. Due to their unfortunate results from nature and genetic makeup they are actually entitled to be nasty rude pricks to those they encounter.

This one certainly did. His belief was that women were bitches. Women were bitches because none of them took interest in him. Through no fault of his own of course, lack of effort in anything nor a personality, sense of humour... Oh no. He should not have to exert any such effort.

He had made many inappropriate comments on the women in the cafe around us. After the shock of the initial comment wore off, it was actually really irritating.

"Oh, that one is fucking ugly. Look at the way she dresses." "That one is pretty but I bet she is a bitch and thinks she is too good for men that aren't fashion models." "I bet that woman there thinks she is sex on legs." I sat in disbelief but so far hadn't said a whole lot.

Then he turned it on me. He had mistaken my ongoing presence for interest in him. Looking back on it, I am still unsure why I had sat through his tirade. One thing I can say for sure, it was certainly not due to interest. (Shudder) I hadn't really said anything, nor was I flirty in any sort of way. I didn't even make eye contact with him really and stared off as he spoke to me. I have no real idea what it was I did to signal him I was interested, other than remaining seated.

"You are a sexy girl, beautiful and you like me. Those women have no idea what they are missing." I rolled my eyes as obviously as possible. (I am still yelling at myself for staying around.)

Next he tuned up his opinions. Now he was very specific and broke 'women' down by country. He indeed had an opinion about everyone. He was from England and he says this made him a real 'class act'. You see, all the English men are born with a magnificent personality and incredible whit. Englishmen, by his reckoning, were superior to all other men on the planet. I suppose then he was one in the position to cut down Dutch men. As we were sitting in a cafe in Amsterdam surrounded by Dutch men, he let me in on their secret. They are petty, shallow men. Dutch women were fools to enjoy their company. Better yet, any woman would be out of their mind to fancy them. (I must be out of my mind as I find Dutch men rather attractive and very fun to be around.)

It was becoming a bit of a train wreck. I really hated to stay and watch but the pure tragedy of it kept me in my seat. What would he say next? Who was his next target.

Next it was the French, both men and women were apparently far too arrogant. Not only were they arrogant but incredibly ugly. He really hated the French and had no shame in announcing this with passion. He had a very real need for me to understand just how deep his hatred ran.

When he finally decided to take a breath, he swiftly moved on to Americans. Americans were next on his list. Apparently every American's personality could be measured in milimetres. The men were bruts that did nothing but beat their women and sleep with their friends and the women were stuck up and shallow. They were so image oriented and appearance minded that none would pay any attention to him at all. This upset him and that made them all bitches. I figure he really fancied American women but had struck out far too many times that the problem must rest on them and their impossibly high expectations that he just didn't measure up to through no fault of his own. I wonder if he ever told any of them that their personalities are measureable?

Again, I did not escape this tirade. He turned his attention to Eastern girls. We were the perfect ones. I was more the sort that would appreciate him. (Oh really? I do? I appreciate a raving, rabid troll of a man bitter at the world?) Apparently the men from the east make him look a prize worth treasuring. All an Eastern girl wants is a man to take care of and who will not beat them. Eastern girls will look past a man's appearance and notice his value. We aren't shallow women and only want the basics in life.

Well oh, so glad you came around then. ((/sarcasm))

I don't know if he thought that was a compliment to me, or further illustrating how superior he really was despite all else. Frankly I don't care. All I know is that had I not heard anything else that preceded those comments- I still would not have been interested. I would have been run off by that tirade alone from any man.

I was utterly shocked by his ignorant statements. How can a person say that *all* women are bitches or *all* French people are this way or that. Does he know all French people? Wow, he must have been busy then, to meet and get to know all those people to be able to make a truthful statement to enclose them all.

After his tirade was complete, he took a drink of his beverage and sat back to stare at me like he had won a prize. My skin was crawling and I felt like tearing my way out. That look he was giving me, creepy though it was, just disgusted me out in a big way. Can't really explain it, but I was nearly hopping out of my head.

"What do you think?" He asks feeling rather proud of himself.
"I think you are what you claim others are."
"What?!?"
"You say Americans personality can be measured in milimetres but how can you say that? Your personality is not spectacular enough to enable you to say such a thing in the first place. French are arrogant? I think you are projecting. The Dutch men are shallow? Most of what you said was shallow. I may be Eastern, but I don't want an idiot. I do not live to look after a man, and I do not see any value in you."
"Um. I am not an idiot. I think you are narrow minded." He told me confidently while he smirked.
"Sure, because I don't agree with your little diatribe there right? I think you are quite hateful and mean and I only want to be around positive happy people. Not bitter, balding, fat, hairy, stinky, short, skinny men like yourself. Maybe you have such bad luck because you are obviously undatable."

I left. I didn't feel happy telling him off, but I just exploded before I could get a handle on myself. I had heard enough nonsense in such a short span of time that really it was like I verbally vomited.
He made me sick with all his nasty talk and I spewed.

I guess I am supposed to feel sorry for him. Sorry that he is such an unhappy person who is dissatisfied with life. Sorry that women do not like him. Sorry that I do not like him. I just don't. I am not sorry for him in any way.
He is undatable and I am sure that when women meet him, they must get this fact too. Otherwise he wouldn't be alone. Otherwise he wouldn't be bitching....