Douches Finish.... Er, They Don't

A friend of mine had finished his work contract and had left the area. He had passed his mobile to a new hire out of courtesy. My number had remained in the phone and this 'new guy' I will refer to as Douche Lord or DL had decided to send me sms messages.

At first it was harmless enough. He had alerted me to my friend's departure and all the details and told me he was new to the area. He had wondered what there was to do in the area for entertainment. I listed off a few places for him and traded light conversation. He would send me sms messages daily and he started to show his true colours. He informed me that he was indeed hot, fit, tall and sexy. He insisted that I should look him up on Facebook and get back to him.

Mind, when a man starts out like that, I am generally inspired to knock him down. It is a challenge to do his head in and too tempting to pass up.

We met up and he was such a wanker I could barely tolerate it. From the neck down he was more than fuckable. Perfect body, tall, broad shouldered and lean. His face was just ok, nothing special and he shaved his head. That is a turn off for me. I told him as such. This angered him and a tantrum ensued.

DL: You don't think I am hot?
Me: You are only marginally attractive. In fact, you are a bit fat. (total lie)
DL: What the fuck are you on about? Me? Fat? Really then?
Me: I really hate to say it, but yeah. You are a bit squishy in the midsection.
DL: Eh? You are a dumb cow.
Me: You are a douche. I must go now. I have a hot date.

I left him there staring stupidly at my back. Speechless and stunned he walked off head down. This told me one thing, it would be too easy after all. All that training served only to bolster his very frail ego. Apparently he knows full well he has nothing going for him in the mental department and is relying on his physique and looks to get by. Really sad, but I don't care.

I traded insults with him time and time again via sms.

I was bored and entertained the idea of seeing him again. I accepted an offer to go to the beach at night with him. When I arrived he was really quiet. I had inquired as to why he hadn't insulted me yet and his reply came in a quiet voice.

DL: I am trying to be nice this time. I want to be nice to you. I want to be who you want.
Me: Fuck off, you are full of shit
DL: You are testing me, always testing me.
Me: Maybe I like it when you are mad.
DL: Ah, so that's it then?
Me: You are too easy.
DL: Alright then.

So he invited me back to his place. I knew full well he was thinking he would win this game. He would have me for a tumble then claim his victory. However, though I didn't let on to him I knew the game, I did. I was well aware of what was going on. I made every attempt to pretend I was stupid. Mainly so he would get too comfortable and make it easy for my stinger to rip into him. We head up to his bedroom. his hands moving all over my body. I have him lie down on the bed as I stood over him. I removed his trousers and his shirt. I would not allow him to remove any of my clothes. He had asked about why that was and I told him suspense. I love suspense. He decided to become difficult and did not allow me to remove his boxers. I settled for ripping them off of him and tying the remnants around his neck.

Being that I am so much smaller than he, he was careful not to hurt me but at the same time wanted to resist. This lead him to fail miserably because he was so afraid to damage me, though I was unafraid of damaging him. I was still fully dressed and he told me it was my turn. I danced around seductively and felt him up. I teased him by lifting my shirt or skirt until I noticed he was very much excited and physically ready for action. At this point, I had to excuse myself to the loo. He grudgingly agreed to let me go but I had no intention of actually using it. To my delight there was a window in it. This flat was first floor so I left through the window. I just ran out to the main street and caught a cab back home.

I wonder how long it took him to realise what had happened to him. Was he offended? It wasn't too long before I learned the answer to that. He was indeed offended, badly. His ego was damaged yet he was still willing to speak with me. He still sends me sms messages to which I mainly ignore. I suppose he really wants what he can not have.